Timeless Time
A year had passed since my miscarriage. We had been trying to get pregnant since. At this point I was getting discouraged, I never thought we were going to have a baby naturally. We began fertility testing; blood work monthly, diet change, vitamins, exercise, self-care, and finally.. I had a laparoscopic surgery. They went in and cleaned the scar tissue left from the endometriosis they also ensured my fallopian tubes were cleared. This took place in December of 2018.
As time was passing I was becoming hopeless. I was never diagnosed, but I believe at a point during our struggle I fell into some depression. I felt as though my world was standing still and everything around me was moving. It seemed as though everyone else was getting pregnant and here I was.. wanting to be a mom so desperately and I couldn't get pregnant. I was angry, disappointed, ashamed and broken. Looking back, I should have got help. I should have talked to someone to help improve my coping of the miscarriage. To some, it may have seemed minuet, but to me, it was my whole world.
I don't want us, women, girls, families, to feel alone when something so devastating happens. I felt alone. I heard stories about how others had lost pregnancies, I didn't feel alone, but for some reason it didn't make me feel better. Today, I am okay with that. I recognize that all my emotions were valid. It was okay for me to be angry, sad, ashamed, and disappointed. If you're reading this and feeling those emotions and more, please, know that your feelings are valid.
January 2019, we began looking into the adoption process. I was 3 days late. So, I peed on a stick.
As time was passing I was becoming hopeless. I was never diagnosed, but I believe at a point during our struggle I fell into some depression. I felt as though my world was standing still and everything around me was moving. It seemed as though everyone else was getting pregnant and here I was.. wanting to be a mom so desperately and I couldn't get pregnant. I was angry, disappointed, ashamed and broken. Looking back, I should have got help. I should have talked to someone to help improve my coping of the miscarriage. To some, it may have seemed minuet, but to me, it was my whole world.
I don't want us, women, girls, families, to feel alone when something so devastating happens. I felt alone. I heard stories about how others had lost pregnancies, I didn't feel alone, but for some reason it didn't make me feel better. Today, I am okay with that. I recognize that all my emotions were valid. It was okay for me to be angry, sad, ashamed, and disappointed. If you're reading this and feeling those emotions and more, please, know that your feelings are valid.
January 2019, we began looking into the adoption process. I was 3 days late. So, I peed on a stick.
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